I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
