At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
