I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've blown a few things in my day
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
