Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
