i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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