How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
