This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
