You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
