there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Randomize
