I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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