Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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