when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
