I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
