Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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