When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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