is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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