so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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