They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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