we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
