I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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