She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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