my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
