i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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