Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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