I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
pray to the hookup gods
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
