The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
