That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
