I've blown a few things in my day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
