Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
