it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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