so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
