I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
