I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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