Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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