Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
two words: eviction party
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
