How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
