Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
