so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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