One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
