Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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