loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
