it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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