Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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