Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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