In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
