Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
