so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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