apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
