Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
