It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
