Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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