Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
