Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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