Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
