A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Vodka?
Forever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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