fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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