woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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